Can You Understand English?

There is a lot of talk about making English theout the window?This whole Amish style of
official language of the USA. That would stop thespeaking made me think about the English
need to spend so much money printing out thingslanguage and some of the odd ways in which we
like drivers license, tax, voter registration anddescribe things in different parts of the USA. Like
other official forms in so many languages. Ifall Americans born here, I guess I have been
people come here, they will simply have to learnshort with those who come to America from
English. However, is it really that simple? English issomewhere else and have trouble learning our
anything but a virgin language. It has roots in thelanguage. I mean, how many times should I have
tongues of many nations and one word can meanto say 'BIG MAC' at McDonalds to actually get
many things. If you travel around our greatone? It's frustrating, but imagine how people who
nation, you will discover some extreme examplescome from other places feel when confronted
of that fact.Several years ago, I visitedwith English?After doing a little research I
Pennsylvania Dutch Country with my family. Mostdiscovered some reasons that the English
people have read about the Amish people, but it'slanguage is confusing to those who speak other
something you have to see for yourself totongues. The main problem seems to be that one
believe. They first came to North America toword simply has too many meanings. Let's take
escape religious and political persecution in Hollandthe word love for example. A child says, "I love
and the Netherlands. Most live in Pennsylvania,you, Mommy," and tends to mean I need you and
some in Ohio and Indiana and a few havemiss the comforting feeling I get when I don't see
established closed communities in Canada.Theyou. A baseball fan says, "I love that team!" They
religious life of the Amish tends to dominate allmean that they are a fan of that team. To go
they do. While they appreciate the freedom thatfurther, their commitment to the team may vary.
America offers them, they want none of whatDo they attend every game? Follow their team
they consider our vices. Most of the traditionalon the road? Have box seats? How much do
Amish people refuse the use of electricity andthey really "love" that team?A man says to a
modern conveniences like telephones, cars andwoman, "I love you." Does he mean for now, for
machine driven farm equipment. The majority arethe moment, until someone he thinks is better
Farmers who use horse drawn carts for theircomes along? The old Stephen Stills song, Love
transportation and horses for plowing, pullingThe One You're With illustrates one example of
wagons and other heavy work.The most amazingwhat love can mean to a person. It seems that
sight you can see in Pennsylvania Dutch Countrythe meaning of the word love can be very
is an Amish barn raising. The entire communitydifferent for a man then it is for a woman.For
gets together when someone needs a new barnmen love often means sex. While a man might
and builds the bulk of it in just one day! The mensay "I love you" and mean I like the way you
construct the barn while the women cook andlook and want to have sex with you, a women
provide refreshment. I guess that when it comesmight say "I love you" and mean that she finds
to the Amish, it takes a village to raise athe man attractive in many ways and sex is
barn!Because they consider waging war a sin, themerely the ultimate expression of all else that she
Amish are generally classified as Conscientiousfeels. I believe that women, in contrast to men,
Objectors with Selective Service. They have theircan have a greater depth to their feelings for
own schools and churches and teach that beinganother person. Is this because they tend to be
self-sufficient is vital. They do use banks, save amore emotional to begin with?I have noticed that
great deal of the money they earn from farmingwomen tend to have friendships and associations
for the future, give ten percent of their worth tothat are deeper then those enjoyed by men.
the church and refuse to participate in the SocialWhile women will probably share their most
Security program. The Bible says to make nointimate thoughts and feelings with a close friend
image of any thing on the earth or in heaven. Youor associate, men will not. They will generally talk
will not see any religious statues in their churches.about business, sex, politics or sports. No wonder
They do not use cameras of any type and thepeople trying to learn English get confused. It
Amish dislike having tourists take theirseems that Americans simply cannot say what
picture.Sometimes it is hard for tourists to resistthey mean, mean what they say or even agree
the temptation to photograph these unusualon what they mean!The Clinton scandals of the
people because they look so quaint. The Amish1990s illustrated the problem with English. When
dress in what might be described as very plainPresident Clinton spoke of sex, he meant
clothing. The men wear dark pants withintercourse between two people. Others argue
suspenders, light shirts, a wide brimmed hat and athat intimate bodily contact of any kind is also
dress coat for special affairs or cold weather.sex. Surveys at the time tended to show that
Most have beards and stop shaving when theymost men agreed with the President's definition,
are engaged or marry. The women wearbut didn't support him. Most women did not agree
dresses, no pants, and most will never cut or trimwith the definition, but supported him! Others say
their hair. None of the Amish wears jeans,that what the president did with Monica Lewinsky
anything with a design on it or buttons. They usewas merely petting. Imagine a first day English
hooks and eyes on their clothes because of astudent from a foreign country listening to a man
tradition that says their persecutors in Hollandsay, "I love my dog, I pet her everyday." Later
wore large buttons on their coats as a sign ofthe same man says, "I love my wife. I pet her
pride. Most wear large dark colored shoes andevery chance that I get!"As an experienced
none wear sneakers or dressy footwear.TheSpeaker, I have had the opportunity to travel all
Amish speak their own language that has beenover the USA and Canada. Whenever possible,
described by dialectologists as an old form ofmy wife and children joined me during summer
Dutch mixed with German and some Old English.months. It was on these trips that we first
It is their attempt to speak modern English thatrealized how words that people use could mean
really gets your attention! If I were outside ourvery different things depending on where you live
house and needed my wife to give me a diaperin the United States. We all feel the call of nature,
for the baby I might say, "Honey, throw a diaperfor example, but not all of us go to the same
out the window. I need one for the baby."place. On more then a few occasions, my wife
However, the Amish would say, "Father, pleaseand kids had to come and ask me where the
throw the baby out of the window a diaper."facilities were and which door they should use.In
Yikes! Maybe that's where Michael Jackson gotmuch of the Northeast where I am originally
the idea of dangling his kid out of the window. Ifrom, we go to the Bathroom.
guess we're all lucky that's all he decided to dangle